The brilliant Lauren from The Thud has put together a wiz-bang, you-beaut series on the lazy ass parents’ guide to Halloween costumes. She’s da bomb, seriously. What can’t this lady do? My lazy assed self rejoiced no end at such quick and easy ideas. But my lazy ass can’t be assed to kick it to that next level of awesomeness. So I suggested sheets over the kids heads. Lauren, being the clever cookie she is, suggested even extending so far as to put eye holes in the sheet. Bless her. She is a devoted Mama. Me on the other hand? I’m all ‘heck, that’s a lot of hard work there’. Let’s go sans eye holes. I call this a lesson in resilience. I am all about good resilience and wellbeing, you know this. Let’s just not talk about the extreme lazy assed, and potentially negligent parenting on my part and we’ll be good.
Anyways I thought this would be interesting for the girls to see how they negotiate a task where one of their senses was taken away. And also in trying something new. See? Always with the angle, aren’t I? Halloween seems to be big business these days, and with it comes a heck load of expectations and excitement from the kiddies. But what if they get no candy? What if they’re given a shit costume? All that hype can lead to a bit of a let down. Some kids can bounce back, while others fall flat. So resilience is pretty handy to have. Same for adults in dealing with sugar highs and insane trick or treaters. Let’s see how my ladies went, shall we? *NB no children were harmed in the making of these lazy assed costumes and ensuing experiment.*
For today’s Thursday Tidbits we’re going back to the alphabet. Yep, we gotta learn about our ABC’s. So in the last few weeks we’ve learned a bit about how bad shit gets started- we know that the body kicks off with all sorts of signs and clues that something’s up. And it then tricks the mind into going berko. Which then influences how we feel and what we do. Last week we looked at some quick tips to calm the body down- because if we can cut it off at the pass, we might be able to avoid going berko.
The next step, once we’ve calmed the body down, is to look at the mind. The mind is such a clever thing. So massive, and yet we only use 10% of it. I’d hate to see what happens if we could use it all. Just don’t watch Lucy for a preview to that. They totes botched that movie up. It had promise. But c’mon, ScarJo? Really?? Anyways, I digress. While our mind is super awesome for many things, sometimes it can really mess us up. It can play tricks on us, just like our bodies do. How to tap into what the hell is going on in there can be tough though. Our thoughts aren’t always these magical things that are immediately apparent to us. Like unicorns are. Sometimes they’re buried deep. Reeeeeeaaaaaallly deep. Like so deep you have no idea about what you’re thinking, you just know you feel like crap. So be prepared that this part is going to take time to uncover.
Before I get started, I must warn you. I’m putting my Dr. Phil pants on today. Oh yes siree Bob. My Texan drawl is out. My receding hairline is at its finest. I’m channelling the doc and just saying it how it is. Bear with me, I’ll put him away soon!
It’s funny, I’ve been talking to some friends of late, and just seeing what goes on at one of my jobs, and I find we’re all feeling the same way. We’re all feeling like shit, uncertain of ourselves, trying our hardest to do the best job we can. But yet we humans, sometimes feel the need to run each other down. Over anything and everything. As adults we are constantly comparing- diets, exercise, jobs, partners, money we make. Paleo vs CSRIO. HIIT vs Crossfit. Labor vs Liberal. Thermomix vs…. I don’t know, what did we do before Thermie? (jokes, I don’t even own one. But I hear they’re top notch. Or if you listen to the other side they’re shit and a waste of money. See? MORE RUN DOWNS). She did what? He said that? Uggggh. Happens in adulthood as it is, but when you become a parent? Holy dooley. The opinions. The judgement. The criticism. THE COMPETITION. There’s always a fucking competition. Stay at home Mums vs Working Mums. Working part time vs working fulltime. Daycare centres vs. Family day care. Breastfeeding vs Formula Feeding. Watching TV vs not watching TV. Girls vs. boys. Baptism vs naming ceremonies. Private vs public schooling. ENOUGH ALREADY. A darling friend of mine put it perfectly recently when we were chatting “I don’t think motherhood and children should be a sport”. Amen sista! I don’t think life in general should be a sport. Being a grown up sucks enough as it is at times, let alone being in constant competition.
Look, I’m not going to bandy around it. I am a road rager. I lose my shit on a daily basis at the stupidity of what goes on in traffic. I never used to be so bad, but when we moved and I encountered the insane crap on the roads here… well my rage was enhanced somewhat. Or maybe a lot. Whatevs. Don’t make me get my rage on.
I was just digging on the ocean theme of last week, so dragged Finding Nemo out of the depths for today’s DSSH. And before you ask? You bet your sweet ass I force my kids to sit down and watch movies with me ALL DAY. They’re all like “Mummy can we please go out and get some sunlight and explore the awesome world around us and learn to read and write?” And I’m like “No way girls. That shit’s for dorks. Sit down, watch TV and let your brains turn to mush”. Phew. Feels so good to get that out there. Now that we’ve got that established, let’s commence, shall we?
Back for another Thursday Tidbit. And given the topic of post yesterday, I need all the freaking calming down I can. Continuing on from last week, where we learnt how shit happens, this week we’re going to break it down and focus on the body. We saw last week that the body kinda kick-starts everything off. But we don’t pay it enough attention and listen to our early warning signs. Which then leads into that whole process of the mind getting involved, stuffing it up royally, which then leaves us feeling ick and then doing ick things.
So we need to try and slow the body down a bit, and calm down those body clues. If we can calm our body down, it just helps us gather ourselves a bit better so we can work out what the hell is going on in our heads. It’s impossible to try and sort out our thoughts if our body is freaking out.
There’s heaps of things you can do to calm your body down, but the main things I teach people are to use calm breathing, and muscular relaxation. Because they’re quick, easy and portable. You can do them anywhere, anytime.
So the other night I was putting Miss DP to bed. It’s a loooong process. But given I used to have to stand at her doorway for an hour, we’re doing super well now (my girl has some issues. She might need to talk to someone about them. But maybe not me because I could lead her down the garden path). She likes to waffle (not sure where she got that from?) before hitting the hay, so our bedtime prep is her waffling crap, featuring random statements and me nodding my head going ‘uhhh huh’ and ‘ohhh really?’ This one night though out of nowhere she said:
“Mummy, when people get married they make love……………………. hearts”
I nearly fell off the bed and choked on my tongue. My heart pounded like the double kick drum in a Metallica song. Kid be like four, there aint no people making love………….hearts in her Disney world!! I was breathing a huge sigh of relief at the last minute addition of ‘hearts’ to that freakin’ sentence. Miss DP is obsessed with marriage and babies at the moment. She is definitely getting married apparently, despite my protests of “girlfriend, you don’t need no one else to be happy! And you don’t need to get married!” complete with wagging finger. Snaps, girlfriend. And she’s marrying Prince Charming. Back off boys, only Prince Charming need apply. That’s my girl, set your standards so bloody high that no one can ever meet them. Read more
I’ve been a money miser for as long as I can remember. Mainly brought on by being poor, and not having much. But while it’s good to not be frivolous, sometimes it can lead me to be a total tight arse. I don’t like to part with shit. Ever. It’s a bad hoarding compulsion (but that’s a whole other post). What do you mean I won’t need that chipped cup? Sure as shit I will! And the Ms. Pacman Atari game, circa 1988? Well that’s simply a collector’s item! We won’t talk about the fact I don’t have a freaking Atari to play it on (which I would DIE if I had one. Love.).
In the second instalment of DSSH we turn to the age-old classic, The Little Mermaid. Holy shit I went to the cinema to watch this and now I watch my little ladies dress up as Ariel and ‘swim’ across the tiles in our house. It’s a tad creepy, but cute at the same time. Nothing like a mermaid, crab and a fish to teach you life lessons, huh?
So back to Thursday tidbit- the tiny technical part of the week (like what I did there? I’m on an alliteration roll on Instagram at the moment and I think I’m freaking addicted now!). How the hell does anxiety, depression, anger etc come about? Seems like it’s this magical thing that pops out of nowhere and BAM! You’re feeling like shit. This Thursday, let’s have a look at how these things develop. Understanding the background to it all is really important, so then we can work on the components to feeling better. We gotta start here so we can then get the hang of changing our thinking (and changing kids’ thinking…. and partner’s thinking… we can take over the world! Muahahahahaha).