Building Resilience in Kids Through Lazy Assness

The brilliant Lauren from The Thud has put together a wiz-bang, you-beaut series on the lazy ass parents’ guide to Halloween costumes. She’s da bomb, seriously. What can’t this lady do? My lazy assed self rejoiced no end at such quick and easy ideas. But my lazy ass can’t be assed to kick it to that next level of awesomeness. So I suggested sheets over the kids heads. Lauren, being the clever cookie she is, suggested even extending so far as to put eye holes in the sheet. Bless her. She is a devoted Mama. Me on the other hand? I’m all ‘heck, that’s a lot of hard work there’. Let’s go sans eye holes. I call this a lesson in resilience. I am all about good resilience and wellbeing, you know this. Let’s just not talk about the extreme lazy assed, and potentially negligent parenting on my part and we’ll be good.

Anyways I thought this would be interesting for the girls to see how they negotiate a task where one of their senses was taken away.  And also in trying something new. See? Always with the angle, aren’t I? Halloween seems to be big business these days, and with it comes a heck load of expectations and excitement from the kiddies. But what if they get no candy? What if they’re given a shit costume? All that hype can lead to a bit of a let down. Some kids can bounce back, while others fall flat. So resilience is pretty handy to have. Same for adults in dealing with sugar highs and insane trick or treaters. Let’s see how my ladies went, shall we? *NB no children were harmed in the making of these lazy assed costumes and ensuing experiment.*

halloween 1.2
Woot! Halloween costumes!! You’re the best Mummy EVAH!!!!!
halloween 2
Say wha? You want us to be ghosts? But we want to be witches. With cool hats. And pretty witchy dresses. Oh far out……
halloween 3
Ghosts with NO EYE HOLES. Wtf, Mummy….wtf…… shittiest Halloween EVAH
Halloween 5
You might think we look cute, but we’re currently plotting your demise…..

Might have been a shitty experiment, but it was cool to see my ladies just deal with it and have a bit of fun. Even if they couldn’t see where they were going and it was a million degrees outside. I totes wanted to send them out at night. But that cuts into my valuable vino drinking time. #Priorities Resilience is important for kids (and adults too. Derp). It really is the hallmark of how they navigate the world, how they cope with unexpected events (like having a sheet thrown over you and being told you’re a ghost, but you have no eye holes). Sometimes days like Halloween seem uber awesome and exciting to kids in theory, and then when they’re confronted with costumes, a bucketload of sugar and freakish shit, they can fall apart. Resilience is about how we bounce back when things don’t quite go to plan.

So what can we do to build resilience, in ourselves and kids? Aside from throwing a sheet over one’s head with no eye holes? (Which FYI, is pretty damn awesome. Just deal with the sheet, peeps):

  • Get support when you need it! For kids- encourage them to talk through their concerns. i.e. “Mum I have some concerns about breathing adequately and seeing where the hell I’m going in this lame ass sheet that you’re calling a ghost costume”
  • Develop resilient self-talk. “I can get through this”  “It won’t last forever” “this is how I learn shit” “My Mum is totes lazy but this crap costume is better than nothing. Oh wait, we have legit cool costumes anyway that we live in every day. Bugger you Mum. Your ghost ain’t a big deal”.
  • Problem-solve- what’s another way to get past the issue? i.e.- “if I hold the sheet close enough I can actually see through it and make my way nimbly around the house and yard”
  • Try not to hold onto failures- we all muck shit up from time to time. It’s gonna happen. Rather than get all pity partyesque, give yourself a small window of time to get a bit ‘dang it’ and then move on. Like in the case of my little ladies “Well this blows. We’re no cute witches. Buuuut, we’ll just run out the sads and crash into each other a few times. Makes eeeeverything better”. The more we hold onto things we can’t change, the worse things get. And it just sounds a bit ridic when we think of it like that, doesn’t it? Why hold onto something we can’t remove/change?
  • Try to see the funny side- Sometimes we just gotta lighten up where we can. Miss DP is a delicate flower (read: extremely melodramatic drama queen), and can get a tad upset (or scream the house down) over literally nothing. When we can joke with her, and she can see the funny side to stuff, she calms the fuck down a heck of a lot quicker. She was giggling at our poverty ghost efforts by the end of it. Winning.
Halloween 9
The girls bounced back pretty well from the lamest costume ever. They ended up having fun and could even see where they were going. Kinda. I may or may not have had a chuckle at them stumbling around the yard.

Here’s hoping that Halloween doesn’t result in too many meltdowns and freak outs…….and that the kids cope ok too.  My resilience is currently being tested as I quietly dance the “please don’t come to our door because we suck at Halloween and I have jack shit to give you so let’s not bother” dance.

 

How’s your Halloween tolerance? Have you got Hallo-resilience? Or are you a Hallo-crumble to shit kinda person?

  • Ha! You are too funny. I love your girls, they’re gorgeous!!! xxx

  • I LOVE you in a totally non-creepy parental crush kind of way!!!! I justified tiny teddys for breakfast today for the reasons of a) not having to get out of bed and b)not having to get out of bed when I should really have been celebrating the development of innovation and independence and SHARING skills – (he gave some to his brother). Tomorrow I’m totally not getting out of bed at all and just sending them both out in sheets. I can keep the doona though right?

    • Bahahahahaha! No lady, I love YOU! In a totally non-creepy way. Your writing cracks me up! I’m just going to keep hassling you until you write like every day. Just for me. K? Tks. 😛 Seriously, tiny teddys for breakfast is totes a-ok. The art of lazy ass parenting is that we don’t feel bad about these things. And you’ve taught your children invaluable skills and improvisation along the way. I hope they enjoyed their lazy ass sheet get up ha ha. xx