We all know it. We’re at the crazy end of the year. The part I call the ‘bers. It is a functional name yet also makes me think of a Stephen King novel. Which is how the end of the year feels like for me half the time. It’s hectic, hot, steamy, mental. I have been plugging away and now I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, so of course my brain goes into shutdown mode. Or maybe I’m just really daft. A distinct possibility. The biggest thing that hits me at this time of the year? FAD. And no, not the FAD where you suddenly have the urge to grow a stately beard, wear flannelette shirts and ride bikes with baskets while sipping your double shot soy mocha latte decaf espresso out of your bric-a-brac tea cup. Though, I am partial to a good bric-a-brac cup. No my friends, I’m talking……..Fuck-a-duckitis.
You know that feeling of just being so completely overwhelmed that you don’t even know where to start and what to do? FAD comin’ atcha. There’s just so much to do, so little time, so much cray that you just throw your hands in the air and think ‘fuck a duck’? FAD. When you know that you MUST (see that thinking error right there??) get stuff done, and it has to be done NOW, but you’re just blergh? FAD. And I find it becomes most prominent once we hit the ‘bers. Things seem to go into an insane time warp and everything gets rushed and busy. So, so busy. And that’s when my fuck-a-duck-itis comes out to play.
It starts as a niggle, much like the hands of a little child tugging at your shirt when you’re at the shops. Then that niggle turns into a gnawing, and before you know it you feel like you’ve had said little child jumping all over you, arms crossed, huffing and puffing about wanting to go on the Wiggles ride in the middle of the shopping centre (p.s. whoever was the bright spark to come up with the kid’s rides at shopping centres? I want to hunt you down and slap you). FAD can be pretty overwhelming.
Unlike previous fads of crimped hair, scrunchies and bubble skirts, this FAD isn’t nearly so stylish. It can leave your chest heavy, your head fuzzy, your face weary, your hair unwashed (erm between you and me, it was nearly 3 weeks before I could wash my hair again recently. Eeeew). Wine doesn’t even taste as good, because FAD has you stressed to the max and then feeling guilty for taking a sip of wine. Bastard.
How to not become a victim of the whiny, huffy child that is FAD? Here’s a couple of tips:
- Breathe! We forget to do that, a lot. And not like ‘breathe to survive’ breathing, but like slow, deep breathing. Before you do anything, just take 5 slow breaths, let your body catch up with your brain.
- Write a list! I love lists, I am a list fanatic. I might spend more time writing lists than actually doing things on the list. And cross things off the list. Man that feels good. The equivalent of rolling over and lighting a cigarette after a raunchy bedroom scene, like they show in the movies. If that’s your kinda thang.
- Rank in order of priorities. What is an absolutely need to do right now? What can hold off for a bit longer?
- Talk it through. Talk it over with your partner, talk with friends, hell, talk with your pot plant. Just verbalising what’s on your plate can help organise things, or make you see that things are actually achievable.
- Take a break. I know, I know, there’s no TIME for a break, you douche! I’m hearing you. But you know, pushing through and persisting when you’re stressed and overwhelmed can actually lead to les productivity. So just set yourself a limit. Work for 20 mins, take a 5 min break. Chunk it down.
- Just do it. Asphinctersayswhat? I know. While it’s important to take little breaks and chunk things down, try not to let FAD stretch that break out into an all-day procrastinationathon. As I so expertly do these days. If you do head to procrastination town, I’ll be there to say hi. Because I freaking live in that place. And then stress out when I need to get everything done yesterday. But you’re way more clever than I, and you’ll be taking a wide berth, right?
- Reward thyself. For even attempting to wade through the mountain of crazy on your plate.
The thing with FAD? Just like shoulder pads and hypercolour t-shirts, it too will pass. It never stays FAD-like forever. So, one foot in front of the other, just get through this cray time and before you know it you’ll be sitting back, wine in your hand wondering what the hell you were stressing about. FAD be gone! Alf from Melmac though? He is a fad that will NEVER pass in my heart. Give me alllll the Alf.
Do you suffer from FAD? And I have to ask- do you know why the hell the term ‘fuck a duck’ is used when feeling overwhelmed?? Like, what does that even mean? Who equated being strung out to fucking a duck?