Sometimes it’s ok to quit…..

quitting via sxc.hu
Image source

You know how we often feel like we have to don our superhero capes, totally do everything for everyone, even at the expense of ourselves? Or maybe I’m just one of those ridiculous over-achievers. Actually, good chance of that. Well I’ve learned a very important lesson these past couple of weeks- it’s ok to quit sometimes.

Have you ever quit anything? How did it make you feel? For me, I’ve never quit out of anything before. EVAH. Even when it sucks balls, I still see things through to the end. Because. Stubborn biatch. I think we’re often raised to think that we don’t quit, and if we do quit- or switch out of something, then we’re weak, indecisive, we can’t follow through. And that reflects badly on us.

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If it’s good enough for Bill, it’s good enough for me. Image source

We need to switch that mentality around. Sometimes quitting is the best option. Why? Because it stops us from getting unnecessarily stressed. It can stop us from pursuing things that ultimately aren’t going to serve us well. Why should we persist with something when ultimately we can see it’s not going to bring us closer to our values or goals, or what we want for our life?

Now, it’s not saying that when the going gets tough we just bail. Not at all. But I think we need to have a firm line drawn- how much do we put up with?  How much sticking it out is going to get us where we want to go? At the end of the day if the bad is outweighing the good consistently, then it’s  a sign to reconsider your next step. And that’s something I’ve had to do, in a rather sudden way.

Do I feel good about it? Not yet. I’m still grappling with feelings of guilt and almost a bit of embarrassment that I’ve just walked away from something.  But do I know it’s the right move in the long run? Yep, I sure do.

What are some signs that tell you it’s ok to quit?

  • You experience prolonged panic at the thought of having to deal with whatever it is you are faced with
  • It begins to encroach on other areas of your life
  • You experience physiological signs (headaches, stomach aches, pains, feelings of sickness, needing to go to the toilet constantly) and there’s no other medical explanations
  • You can’t seem to shift your mindset, no matter what
  • The issues are not able to be easily resolved, despite numerous, repeated attempts
  • It’s not getting you closer to the life you want

Before you quit, what do you need to ask yourself

  • Is there anything more I can do?
  • Is there another way around this issue?
  • Have I addressed all possible avenues?
  • Do I have any other options available to me at the moment?
  • Where can I get some support and advice?
  • Where will this lead to in my life?
quitting cartoon
It’s that simple. Image source

This is a message we need to talk to our kids about too. We need to support them to see that while for the most part, we do follow through on things, we do stick it out, if it’s going to become harmful to them- to their health, wellbeing, mentality, and if it’s not going to ultimately lead them to where they want to be, then it’s ok to make a switch. It’s ok to stop and change tracks. Things like changing subjects in school, switching degrees in uni, taking time off uni, finding a new job and quitting the one that is dragging us down, building a new friendship group when the old one is just leading us in a direction we don’t want to head in. Quitting doesn’t have to be a bad thing at all! It stings at first, and it’s hard to take that first step, but when we get down that new track and we look back, we’ll be breathing a sigh of relief that we took that leap. Once we stuff our faces with chocolate and gooey treats and feel like crap for a bit and wonder what the hell we’ve done, of course. Or is that just me?

 

Have you ever quit anything? Ultimately how did it turn out for you?

  • Hugzilla

    I seriously love your pragmatic, no-nonsense approach. Absolutely we should dig in and stick things out, but not once it gets to the point where it is doing harm to our physical or emotional wellbeing that is avoidable. Smart beats stubborn any day.

    • Aww thanks sweets. I come from the house of cynic. 😛 I think we’ve had it beaten into us for so long now that we don’t quit, and quitting is bad, but when it puts us, our health and our happiness at risk, why the fuck should we be sticking things out? You’re spot on lady- smart wins hands down. xx

  • Jo

    I totally agree with you, sometimes it takes a few needed steps back to reassess the situation. If it’s causing too much stress it’s ok to quit and move on. The shoe sometimes doesn’t fit and that’s ok.

    • So true! The shoe sometimes doesn’t fit! But I think we worry sometimes that we’ve been walking around with that shoe on for so long we’re scared what will happen if we take it off. But there’s a time when those shoes have to be kicked off and thrown away. x

  • Yeah!!! That has always be my rule! I quitted several jobs when I felt that I’m not going anywhere good at that moment! Quitting has always let me some space for more creativity. Let’s quit!!! hahaha!!xx cathy

  • All those things you described in the signs – that was me with my career two years ago and yes I quit and it was the best bloody things I have ever been insanely brave enough to do xx

    • You are one of the strongest chicks I know sweets. xx I am so glad you took that leap- look at where you are now!! I wish, wish, wish I could follow in your footsteps, but I’m a bit trapped at the moment sadly. But at least I’ve been able to quit out of one chunk of a nasty sitcho. I need some of your bravery!! xx

  • I quit my career 3 years ago and it was a really hard decision but one I haven’t looked back on since. It took a lot of adjusting but it was the right thing to do. I’m so glad that you quit that bad situation and you lady are braver than you think. x

    • I really admire you sweets! I wish I could fully quit- I haven’t enjoyed what I’ve been doing for a long time now. But financially I’m the one who brings in the bacon so I kind of feel a bit trapped. Hopefully something will change and new pathways will open up! But at least one bad pathway has been closed off now! x

  • I quit my job a couple of months ago. I hated the notion of “giving up” but I hated how unhappy it was making me more. Life’s too short to do something that doesn’t make you happy, or more to the point, is making you unhappy. It’s like that old adage “jump and the net will appear.” The net always appears and the landing can be softer than you expect. When you step away from something that’s toxic, every step is a step in the right direction. Hugs for you xx

    • That’s spot on sweets- that awful feeling of ‘giving up’ is so tough, but staying miserable is so much worse. Here’s hoping new horizons are up ahead for us! x

  • It’s super hard to quit something when you are a very stubborn person, like me, and you by the sounds of it :). But you are right, it can be a sensible and brave thing to do. Especially if you are physically ill, or just get very anxious by the thought of it.

    I have definitely quit a few things in my life, some big, some small. But I make sure I have a good talk to myself to make sure it’s the right thing for me to do as well.

    xo

    • Ha ha ha oh gosh I am super stubborn, we’d get along famously! :) Sometimes it’s about balancing out the stubbornness with health and overall wellbeing. And ultimately we’re doing the right thing if it’s going to make us happier, right? x

  • This is the line: “pursuing things that ultimately aren’t going to serve us well.” That’s how you know you’ve done the right thing. Sometimes you just need to put yourself and your family first and think about whether what you’re doing is serving you and your babies well. If it’s making you miserable and making you a basket case when you’re at home – that’s not what your family needs. And they’re far more important than any bunch of shitheads ever could be.
    Mwah xxxx

    • You’re so right sweets. Family comes first, and what is going to be best for us all absolutely must outweigh the other stuff. Thanks honey for your lovely words. xx