You know how we often feel like we have to don our superhero capes, totally do everything for everyone, even at the expense of ourselves? Or maybe I’m just one of those ridiculous over-achievers. Actually, good chance of that. Well I’ve learned a very important lesson these past couple of weeks- it’s ok to quit sometimes.
Have you ever quit anything? How did it make you feel? For me, I’ve never quit out of anything before. EVAH. Even when it sucks balls, I still see things through to the end. Because. Stubborn biatch. I think we’re often raised to think that we don’t quit, and if we do quit- or switch out of something, then we’re weak, indecisive, we can’t follow through. And that reflects badly on us.
We need to switch that mentality around. Sometimes quitting is the best option. Why? Because it stops us from getting unnecessarily stressed. It can stop us from pursuing things that ultimately aren’t going to serve us well. Why should we persist with something when ultimately we can see it’s not going to bring us closer to our values or goals, or what we want for our life?
Now, it’s not saying that when the going gets tough we just bail. Not at all. But I think we need to have a firm line drawn- how much do we put up with? How much sticking it out is going to get us where we want to go? At the end of the day if the bad is outweighing the good consistently, then it’s a sign to reconsider your next step. And that’s something I’ve had to do, in a rather sudden way.
Do I feel good about it? Not yet. I’m still grappling with feelings of guilt and almost a bit of embarrassment that I’ve just walked away from something. But do I know it’s the right move in the long run? Yep, I sure do.
What are some signs that tell you it’s ok to quit?
- You experience prolonged panic at the thought of having to deal with whatever it is you are faced with
- It begins to encroach on other areas of your life
- You experience physiological signs (headaches, stomach aches, pains, feelings of sickness, needing to go to the toilet constantly) and there’s no other medical explanations
- You can’t seem to shift your mindset, no matter what
- The issues are not able to be easily resolved, despite numerous, repeated attempts
- It’s not getting you closer to the life you want
Before you quit, what do you need to ask yourself
- Is there anything more I can do?
- Is there another way around this issue?
- Have I addressed all possible avenues?
- Do I have any other options available to me at the moment?
- Where can I get some support and advice?
- Where will this lead to in my life?
This is a message we need to talk to our kids about too. We need to support them to see that while for the most part, we do follow through on things, we do stick it out, if it’s going to become harmful to them- to their health, wellbeing, mentality, and if it’s not going to ultimately lead them to where they want to be, then it’s ok to make a switch. It’s ok to stop and change tracks. Things like changing subjects in school, switching degrees in uni, taking time off uni, finding a new job and quitting the one that is dragging us down, building a new friendship group when the old one is just leading us in a direction we don’t want to head in. Quitting doesn’t have to be a bad thing at all! It stings at first, and it’s hard to take that first step, but when we get down that new track and we look back, we’ll be breathing a sigh of relief that we took that leap. Once we stuff our faces with chocolate and gooey treats and feel like crap for a bit and wonder what the hell we’ve done, of course. Or is that just me?
Have you ever quit anything? Ultimately how did it turn out for you?