Friendships are funny things. We muddle our way through, bump into people and sometimes we just ‘click’, and a friendship is born. Others we cautiously dance around, sniffing the other out and a friendship grows over time. Some we’ve known since we were kids, and some we’ve met yesterday but feel like we’ve known them forever. Friends are da bomb. We tend to gravitate toward a few and class them as our close friends, while others are more run of the mill friends.
Sometimes though, we’re not the close friend. We’re the other friend. The friend that is great, but just not ‘the’ friend.
Ever felt like that?
It’s the feeling of being the back-up friend.
It’s totes a thing. Might not be in the clinical handbooks, but it happens. A lot. Google search that shit, you’ll see topic after topic of people feeling the same.
Following last week’s vomit of sadness at watching my biggest little lady wander around a party trying to find some acceptance, I put on my big girl pants (AKA ate my body weight in ice cream and chocolate and cuddled her to within an inch of her life) and looked at what we could actually do to turn things around for me her.
While we need to let our cherubs sort this stuff out for themselves sometimes, we’ve also got to be able to skill them up to handle it. Create a little bag of friendship tricks if you will. And given the main trick in my bag is wine as a social lubricant, I’m thinking I might need to go and revisit some ideas to help her out a bit better.
I think sometimes we feel like this stuff should just organically ‘happen’. Like a flower that just blooms all by itself in the sun. Or a rainbow unicorn that flies through the air. No? You don’t see them in the air? Shit. Could be just me sorry.