Ahhhh travelling. Jumping on that plane, going somewhere new. Sometimes for fun. Sometimes not. At some point we all end up travelling. Unless you’re dedicated to the cause and you refuse to put a foot outside your door. Then you might need to come and have a chat to me. When you can put your foot outside your door.
Travelling can bring out the best in us and the worst in us all at the same time. It can test relationships, it can give parents conniptions for years to come, it can plant that little itch that needs to be scratched only by jumping on a plane and going somewhere else.
You know how we talk about our personality styles? Introvert, extrovert, omnivert, pervert. So I may have made that last one up, but it rings true at times, no? I think that travelling shows us another side to our personalities. One that isn’t really described much, but very much threads its way through our everyday lives.
Our travelling personality can change relationships. They can show us a side of ourselves we’ve been reluctant to let out. And sometimes we see that personality in others and we just don’t know what the hell to do with it.
So without further ado, I present to you, the 7 core traveller personalities, and tips for dealing with them. So you can all enjoy your trip without murdering each other. You’re welcome.
It’s been a long day. I’m madly rushing trying to tidy the house, do the washing, unpack from work, get all the things done. And there’s this little noise buzzing around. It’s incessant. At first I brush it off, thinking I can block it out, there’s just too many things to do today. But it continues. Louder and louder it seemingly gets. Like that pesky mosquito that comes buzzing by your ear. You want to ignore it, but that sound is so grating and ick, instead you want to spend your time trying to squash the crap out of the mosquito.
This sound is much louder than any mosquito though. And it drags on. And on. And ON. I’m trying to give myself a pep talk to rise above it all.
“Ignore it lady. Shake it off. But not Taylor Swift style. Damn, now I have that shit song stuck in my head….”
But it gets louder. It’s following me everywhere I go. Not even a bit of Tay Tay can get me out of this one.
“Muuuuuuuuuuuuum. I waaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnt thhhhhhhhhhe bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuue onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnne. Itsnotfaiiiiiiiiiiiiiir”
Whining. From that little cherub that you spawned. That seemingly gorgeous face and angelic eyes spewing forth this painful, grating monologue of angst. Over nothing. From the wrong coloured plate, to siblings getting first turn, to not having the right shoes, to having to brush teeth (JUST BRUSH THEM FOR FUCKS SAKE. YOU WILL THANK ME ONE DAY).
It’s a killer, right?
I try really hard to move past whining. And I know what ‘the books’ say to do. But it can be really tough some days.
I am really beating myself up this year so far, throwing guilt around like it’s confetti. Guilt for not posting enough. Guilt for not juggling all my roles well enough. Guilt for struggling to adjust to a new routine. Guilt for being a neglectful friend, a frazzled Mum, a nutty wife. So much cray guilt. And it isn’t doing me any good. I’ve been trying to find the words to say for a while, but nothing is coming to mind. When I was lost in my own head this morning though, I was thinking about all the people I’ve seen over the years, and what I’ve taken away from them. A lot of people coming in to see me for the first time are in a bad way. Much worse than my cray guilt. Lost in their own pain/stress/sadness/worry/grief/anger/confusion. It’s messy. From there though, we work through stuff, they learn strategies, and they turn it around. Not always in a straightforward way, but we get there. Sometimes I need to get my head out of the grind and remind myself of these things. Here’s the take-home messages I’ve noticed through the years:
Holding onto those negative moments is nothing more than a waste of time. It doesn’t change anything, it doesn’t make you feel better, and it’s not fixing the problem.
When you’re in that dark hole, it can seem all-consuming. But the only person that can climb out of it is you. No one can make you see that until you’re ready to take it on board for yourself.
Sometimes things seem worse than what they actually are. And when, in those rare moments, things really do become that bad, you cope with it. Somehow, someway you do. You might not think you can, but you do.
Things get better. They always improve, even if a tiny bit. They may not be perfect, but they get better. You have to watch for the subtleties.
Shutting others out only serves to make it harder. There’s no time for pride or guilt here. Open up. Even if it’s the opposite of what you actually feel like doing.
Know that you have people on your team. You really do. They might get frustrated, they might get annoyed, they might not respond in exactly the manner you want them to, but they ARE there.
Work WITH people, not against them. The world isn’t against you, I promise. More often than not those people want what you want, for things to be working well, and for everyone to be happy and functioning.
Take the help when it’s offered. You know you’d do the same for someone else, so don’t be an idiot and say ‘oh no I’m fine thanks’ when you’re not.
You get out what you put in to life. Be that therapy, friendships, work. You need to put a bit in to get a bit out. And sometimes unfair shit happens, it does, but really, if you give up and get bitter, you’ll get even less.
Stuff takes time. When you’re in pain, it’s not going to go away overnight, or in one quick session.
Take an interest in others. Even when you’re so consumed in your own world. It can help you get out of your funk. Be honest when others ask how you are. Truly answer with what’s in your mind. And in turn, be genuine when you ask how others are feeling. Because I can guarantee others will be feeling the same way as you. And sometimes others’ are going through worse, and it makes you sit back and really think about how things are.
If there was some way I could give this to future clients right as they walk in the door…..I’d probably be sacked right then and there. But really, I mean if I could just let them know these things, it could almost circumnavigate a lot of crap. But, we humans are funny things that don’t really like to take on board such tips, until we’ve gone through the crap, come out the other side and then have been able to reflect and go “ohhhh yeah. All that stuff WAS right after all…..”. Or maybe that’s just me. Because. Stubborn biatch. So there you have it. If you’re in the grind, print out the tips, stick them on your wall/ put them in your wallet/ carry them in your pocket. Because we all need a reminder from time to time.
What’s your top tip when you’re stuck in the grind?
Back for another Thursday Tidbit. And given the topic of post yesterday, I need all the freaking calming down I can. Continuing on from last week, where we learnt how shit happens, this week we’re going to break it down and focus on the body. We saw last week that the body kinda kick-starts everything off. But we don’t pay it enough attention and listen to our early warning signs. Which then leads into that whole process of the mind getting involved, stuffing it up royally, which then leaves us feeling ick and then doing ick things.
So we need to try and slow the body down a bit, and calm down those body clues. If we can calm our body down, it just helps us gather ourselves a bit better so we can work out what the hell is going on in our heads. It’s impossible to try and sort out our thoughts if our body is freaking out.
There’s heaps of things you can do to calm your body down, but the main things I teach people are to use calm breathing, and muscular relaxation. Because they’re quick, easy and portable. You can do them anywhere, anytime.